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Posted by on Jun 5, 2014 in Blog, Relationships & Family | 0 comments

Marital Problems? Marriage Counseling Can Help

For couples having problems, marriage counseling can be beneficial. Unfortunately, every couple that needs help does not always know it. If you and your spouse are having marital problems, it might be time to seek counseling from a professional such as Wendy Limarzi. Here are four signs that you should talk to your spouse about getting help.

Problems With Intimacy

When you and your spouse experience a sudden decrease or increase in your intimacy levels, consider seeking help. Most people are aware that a sudden decrease in intimacy is cause for concern, but an increase can also be a signal for help. There is a possibility that there are some issues with your spouse that he or she is not comfortable expressing to you. 

Lack of Communication

When you and your spouse go through a brief period of being unable to communicate with each other, it might not be cause for concern. However, if you feel scared to bring up subjects for fear of a confrontation or your communication problems continue beyond a reasonable period, it is time to seek help. Without the ability to communicate, even the smallest issues can become major.

A counselor can help you and your spouse learn how to communicate with each other again. The counselor can also serve as a mediator of sorts. If you have a subject that is difficult to discuss, a therapy session can provide you with the security you need to talk.

Disagreements About Your Children

It is not uncommon for couples to have disagreements about how the children should be raised. However, constant disagreements can lead to confusion and frustration for the children. It can also pull you and your spouse apart. 

If you work with a counselor, he or she can help you learn how to respect your spouse’s parenting style while still being able to express your own wishes and desires for the children. By working together, you can focus on raising the children and not arguing about how to raise them.

Hanging Onto Past Issues

Whether it is infidelity or abuse, it can sometimes be difficult for spouses to let go of a past event. If you and your spouse decided to stay together after the event and it has not occurred again, continuing to bring it up or focusing on it can harm your ability to move forward as a couple. 

A counselor can help you deal with the past event so that you and your spouse can move forward. Sometimes there are unresolved issues and emotions that need to be confronted. A therapist’s office might be the right environment in which to do this. 

Chances are, if you and your spouse feel that you need to go to counseling, you should. Counseling can save your marriage in some instances. It can also provide you with the help you and your spouse need to make decisions about your future. 

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Posted by on May 9, 2014 in Blog, Relationships & Family | 0 comments

Counseling And Emotional Abuse

Are you (or someone you know) in an emotionally abusive relationship? If you believe that you are, do not write it off. You may not be getting physically abused, but that does not mean that emotional abuse is not just as hurtful, if not more so. Here you will find a few signs of emotional abuse in a relationship and what to do to help remedy this painful situation. 

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can take many forms. It can be very overt and obvious but it can also be much more subtle and manipulative. A few signs of emotional abuse include (but are not limited to):

  • Isolation. Many times, the abuser will keep you from seeing family or friends.
  • Insults. Often, the abuser may call you names or belittle you. 
  • Public Humiliation. The abuser points out your flaws in front of other people and frequently contradicts you. 
  • Fear. You are walking on eggshells around the abuser because you worry that he’s going to blow up at you or give you the silent treatment. 
  • Servitude. The abuser feels entitled to special treatment so he’s always telling you to do things for him, like a servant would.
  • Control. The abuser makes the decisions about whether to accept invitations to events, what you should wear, and how you should spend your time.

Many of these behaviors are designed to keep you from abandoning the abuser or to help him feel more powerful. If he can make you feel worthless and scared, you are more likely to remain with him. He may not even realize what he is doing, but that doesn’t excuse his behavior and you should still take action.

Counsel

If you feel that you are, indeed, in an emotionally abusive relationship, you should seek counsel from a mental health professional. Usually, a person is abusive because he, himself, feels helpless. Counseling from a business like Sojourn Wellness Group will help you learn to take back that control.

You will learn how to say “no” and to set limits so that advantage will not be taken of you. You may have started to believe that you’re flawed, but with counseling, you will realize that’s not true. You will begin to notice the impact of being in an emotionally abusive relationship.

You will learn how better to relate to others and how to care for yourself. You will learn what your basic relationship rights are and how they are being violated in this type of relationship. You will come to value yourself enough to be willing to walk away from the relationship, if it comes to that. 

In the mean time, learn all you can about emotionally abusive relationships. It will help you to better understand your partner and also what types of behaviors help, on your part. Hopefully he is willing to work on your relationship too, but if he isn’t, it might be better to move on so that you can avoid a lifetime of confusion, hurt, and resentment.

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Posted by on May 6, 2014 in Blog, Relationships & Family | 0 comments

Making Divorce Easier With Family Mediation

Every year there are millions of people who experience the pain of a divorce. Unfortunately, these procedures are often complicated when couples have children or extensive assets. While the legal system can settle these disputes, family mediation can address these issues with minimal uncertainty, cost and emotional stress for everyone involved. A mediation service like Wilson Christen LLP can give you more information on this topic.

What is mediation?

The British Columbia Ministry of Justice defines mediation as the use of a neutral third party to settle disputes outside of the court system. Interestingly, mediators have no formal powers to issue judgments. For many individuals, this allows for more open and honest communications. 

It is important to note that mediation requires both parties to want to settle the matter out of court. Due to the mediator’s inability to issue judgments, if both parties are not committed to the effort, it is unlikely to be productive. 

The benefits of mediation

There are numerous important benefits to mediation. The primary benefits involve time and cost. The Ministry of Justice observes that mediation is able to solve most family disputes faster and more cost efficiently than court proceedings. 

Faster results and lower costs are not the only benefits of mediation. This approach to conflict resolution also provides individuals with an opportunity reduce emotional stress. For most parents, this is an important consideration. After all, few people want a third party issuing a judgment about their parental rights. 

Lastly, some people are unaware that divorce proceedings are public record, and almost anyone can access them. Conversly, mediation is completely private, and the details revealed in these proceedings will not be available to the public. 

What to expect during your session

The exact proceedings that will occur during a mediation session will vary from provider to provider. However, there are some similarities that are common to almost every mediation session. 

The parties involved in the case meet privately with the mediator. This allows for the needs of each party to be expressed, and this knowledge helps the mediator facilitate a mutually beneficial outcome. 

During the actual negotiations, you may not spend much time speaking directly to the other parties. Rather, the mediator will act as a messenger. This benefit is particularly valuable when addressing highly emotional issues. 

The amount of time needed to complete the mediation depends on the willingness of the parties to compromise. But, if the mediator is unable to facilitate an agreement, you may have no other choice but to pursue the matter in court. 

Mediation is rapidly gaining popularity for solving the complex issues surrounding a divorce. By working with a neutral mediator, this process is able to help individuals settle complex family disputes without involving the court system. 

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Posted by on May 3, 2014 in Blog, Relationships & Family | 0 comments

Four Activities To Help You Prepare For Marriage

Getting married is a huge event for a couple. With the rate of 50% of marriages ending in divorce, you and your future spouse might want to do all you can to ensure that your marriage will not fall into this statistic. Here are four things you can do to safeguard your marriage and make sure you are both ready to take this big step.

Take a Premarital Compatibility Test

Premarital compatibility tests help couples identify strengths and weaknesses in their relationship. You can find a variety of these tests online, and many are free. Each of you must fill out the answers to the questions, and you will get the results when you are finished.

Completing a test like this will help you find out if marriage is really the right step to take, and it may help you work through your differences before you get married.

Find a Mentor

If you attend a church, you can ask your church if they offer premarital mentoring. With this, you and your future spouse meet with a married couple from your church. Mentoring can last anywhere from 4 to 12 weeks, and you usually meet once per week.

The married couple helps you understand what marriage truly means. They will answer your questions, and they will offer advice and tips that may help you have a strong, fulfilling marriage.

Seek Premarital Counseling

If you are part of a church, this might be a requirement. If it is not required, you can still choose to attend premarital counseling through any counseling firm that offers it, such as Meiers Gary J Hammond/Meiers J A & Associates Ltd. Through this, you will:

  • Discuss major topics of marriage – this includes money and budgeting, having children, household duties, obligations and expectations, and sex.
  • Learn about the differences in genders – men and women are inherently different. By learning these, you both may have a greater appreciation and understanding for these differences.
  • Find ways to communicate more effectively – communication is vital in marriage. While you may not have a problem with this right now, you may develop problems in the future. Premarital counseling may teach you techniques that will help you through this.

Attend a Premarital Workshop

Premarital workshops teach couples what to expect from marriage. They help couples understand the qualities of a good marriage, and they help couples learn the essentials for being good spouses. Many of these are offered on weekends, and some last only a day, while others are for an entire weekend.

Good marriages do not usually happen by chance. They require commitment from both spouses, and these four tasks can help you prepare for your upcoming marriage to the person you love.

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Posted by on Feb 19, 2014 in Blog, Relationships & Family | 0 comments

Visiting Bridal Shops Got Me More Than Just A Gown

I have looked forward to my wedding day for as long as I can remember. I have always been excited for the entire experience of being a bride. One of the things I looked forward to the most was shopping for a wedding dress. I knew that there were several bridal shops in Edmonton like Lustre Studio Inc that would be wonderful places to find the perfect dress, so as soon as I got engaged, I called and made appointments to visit them. I took my mom and my two bridesmaids with me to find the dress of my dreams, and we had a wonderful day trying on dresses and dreaming about my wedding day.

I was so pleasantly surprised when we found out that many of the bridal shops in the Edmonton area offered not only gowns but also wedding planning services. While we were out trying on dresses, we were also able to browse through magazines and catalogs and plan a great deal of my wedding. It was the perfect day for a nervous bride, and we ended up getting so much done. At the very end of our productive day of wedding planning, I found the perfect dress. It was beautiful! It was the perfect end to the perfect day with my mom and girlfriends.

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Posted by on Feb 19, 2014 in Blog, Relationships & Family | 0 comments

Buying From Bridal Shops In Ottawa

One of the reasons why I love bridal shops in Ottawa is that they really have everything that you need in one place. This makes searching for quality items a lot easier because they are conveniently located in one spot.

For brides, one of the biggest parts of getting ready for a wedding is purchasing the dress. Many of them have all the top designers in North America and some from Asia and Europe. Some are smaller and offer only locally made items. This can help you create a look that is a lot more unique because it is not mass produced. A lot of shops will be able to find you dresses in styles such as fit and flare, mermaid, tea length skirts, illusion backs, trumpet, ball gown, sheath, or a-lined. You can find them in white, ivory, blush, or you can have them specially dyed if you want them a different color entirely.

Apart from simply the dress, at bridal shops, you can also find your hair pieces and jewelry accessories. There are diamond and rhinestone tiaras that work perfectly with ball gowns. You can find hair combs that look floral, decadent, or beach themed. You can find bird cage veils or long, sweeping cathedral veils.

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